Family should accept me, right?

I left India after my ‘O ‘level and moved to UK for college and university, where things got even more interesting for me. I moved in with my mother’s sister and her family – totally Indian. I thought would fit in alright – I speak Indian, loved Indian food, I understand the culture, and loved my Indian Bollywood movies. Regardless, no matter how Indian I was on the inside, I still looked very much African on the outside. Although the UK is cosmopolitan in comparison to many places in the world, racism and its associated discrimination was still alive and kicking, literally. Just recently the media attacks and social media outpourings of vile words aimed at Meghan Merkel, a girl of mixed race, marrying the most eligible bachelor the UK had, Prince Harry, son of Princess Diana. Whilst Meghan is a biracial woman with her own mindset, hardworking, living and working in Canada; she chose to follow her Prince to London, receiving attacks both from her own sisters and from the public. For myself, I truly do not feel that I belong to any country where I don’t get accepted, as my appearance is neither white nor black.

Coming back to my Auntie’s family that I have moved in with, even though I was her sister’s daughter, I looked, walked, and talked differently compared to my cousins. So, my Aunty wanted to make me a typical Indian with all the do and don’ts and be made presentable with “Indian” hair before I would be introduced to the UK Indian family and friends.

You see, this was always the battle everywhere – to be accepted, be part of the group – isolated because image mattered. So, she decided that I should straighten my hair to look less African. Bye-bye bushy tangled and bulky hair. Farewell bird’s nest and trapped flies. Hello to chemically treated straight hair. Thank god there wasn’t an iron involved, however the treatment that was used was too strong for my type of hair, chemically burning my scalp and damaging my hair. This is another issue that I have always faced; the type of hair products were not in existence for African hair at that time, let alone biracial hair. That aside, it wasn’t a total disaster and I must say, it was easier to comb. Also, I must admit, I wanted to take the easy way out, to gain that sense of belonging in a community where I could feel accepted.