I am writing this, not as a man of mixed race, but as a husband of a mixed race wife, and consequently, the father of mixed race children, and it is the discussions with, and questions from my children that have prompted me to write this.

My eldest daughter is 14 years old and will be starting year 10 after the summer. She attends a great school with a lovely group of friends, and there is little to no bullying. In her time there she has been assumed as Egyptian, Spanish, Emirati, and American. She is in fact parts of Indian, African, and British (white) but never has there been ill intent in the assumptions made. As we live in Dubai, I took special care to read the “Mixed and Married in Dubai” article on this website, and I can concur that Dubai is a very tolerant society. When I walk around with my daughters nobody bats an eyelid.  Not so when we travel in Europe.

My eldest and I first noticed people looking at us as we walked the streets whilst in the UK. Not just glances, but stares. Neither of us could figure out why. We would check for obvious things, such as toilet paper on the shoes (or heaven forbid elsewhere), buttons or zips not ensuring modesty, or anything else that could warrant such attention. Each time we came up clean. Commenting on this to my wife, who, being mixed, is more in tune, advised that it is because we are not the same colour, so are an apparent curiosity. I was shocked. The UK of all places should be well versed in mixed race people and those of different race being together, surely. To test this hard to swallow theory, over the next week or so, we would take notice when we walked apart or alone to see if we attracted the same interest. I would like to say I was pleased that we had solved the mystery, but the result left me disappointed. As individuals we attracted no attention, but together we were the subject attention. Never anything hostile or down the nose, just being noticed for our difference.

The positive I took from this is that as little as 40 years ago (probably less) we may have been more likely an object of hostile scrutiny or scorn. A curious stare is much easier to dismiss than a punch in the nose. So, as much as there is a diverse society in the UK, or at least the places we went, there still seems to be a way to go. Progress, not perfection.